i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
