I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
