OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
