i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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