how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
