I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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