she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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