there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
