The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
