Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
