you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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