No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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