Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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