I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
