just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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