I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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