I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We're too hungover to prance.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
