Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
