whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
