My sheets look like a crime scene.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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