Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
