Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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