fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
