i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Houston, we have a blender
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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