Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
