Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
