it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
