Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
