I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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