You just made me feel so damn special
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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