Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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