Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
