I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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