You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Boobs are out for the taking
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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