I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am one with the molecules
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
