How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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