but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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