I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
