Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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