fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
