where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
