I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I could make wine with my vomit
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
