I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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