There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
