I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
