i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
