Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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