i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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