I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
