I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
