i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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