SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
